Every year I understand more deeply the significance of Holy Thursday and what happened to me 20 years ago. For those who were not here when I shared that experience my first weekend at St. John, I’ll make it brief…

After months of struggling with my faith and belief in God, as many 18 year olds do, I had decided to give God his final chance. I went into an empty church, knelt in front of the altar and desperately asked God to give me a miracle, a sign, anything to let me know He was there. Nothing happened. I only felt foolish for talking to myself and concluded that God did not exist.

Holy Week came and on Thursday morning I was called to help at Mass. I was reluctant at first but decided to go, seeing it as volunteer hours. During the homily I remember feeling agitated, not wanting to be there, looking at the people around me and thinking “if only all these people knew there is nothing here!” Then, 12 chairs were brought up for the washing of the feet – something I had seen as a kid every year, but this time, my eyes where fixed on the aging priest.

The look on his face was that of someone who knew his life had meaning, someone who lived with a purpose, joy – everything I lacked and desperately needed. He took off his chasuble, came forward and knelt down. At the moment I saw the water poured on the feet of the first person, I felt flooded with God’s presence. I had an overwhelming feeling of love saturating me, and with that came an inner voice in my soul “I need to be a priest!” It wasn’t an idea, it wasn’t a curiosity, it wasn’t a wonder, it was a necessity. Somehow in that instant I knew that God did exist, that I was love, and that in washing the feet of others my life would have meaning.

The joy only intensified as Mass continued. At the moment of consecration when I saw father hold up the Eucharist, I felt a deep love reaching out of the host and physically pulling me forward so much so I had to hang on to the pew. I looked at the people around me to see if anyone else felt the same thing, but no one was reacting as I was. The though that then came to me was “do this in memory of me, for them.” I didn’t know anything about the significance of Holy Thursday, all I knew is I was having an encounter the living God, who spoke directly to my weary heart.  

Today in the eve of our Lord’s passion the Church celebrates those two things: the gift of priestly service and the gift of communion, the Eucharist. Both overflow from the very love of Christ to us, and it begins with the flowing of water over feet. Why? It is more than a gesture of humility for all to imitate, it is charged with a task, a specific mission.

Everything that Jesus does is in fulfilment of the law and the prophets, so we must go back to where it all began, to the desert after the exodus from Egypt, God’s intervention to save a people from human slavery. Exodus 19:10 tells us that Moses goes up the mountain and is told by God: “go to the people and have them sanctify themselves today and tomorrow. Have them wash their garments and be ready for the third day… on the third day the Lord will come down in the sight of all the people.”

When on the third day Moses comes down, the presence of God that he carries for all people to see are the ten commandments. The tablets are then placed in the tabernacle along with a jar of manna the bread form heaven and the staff of Aaron the priest, all three representing the presence of God. After Moses Joshua is given the task to complete the journey. At the 40th years they finally reach the Jordan river. To get across, God tells Joshua to instruct the priest to carry the Ark of the covenant and to lead the people through the river. As soon as the feet of the priests are submerged, washed, the water parts and they are able to lead everyone to the promise land.

Water was a symbol of the chaos of the world, the forces that tend to divide us. In the river Jordan, God washed their feet whereby he gave them a new mission: to not be afraid to step into the chaos of people’s lives. If they did so carrying the ark of his presence: the law, the bread from heaven, the priesthood, they lead others to salvation.

With this story in the background, what Jesus is doing is clear. In the upper room, by washing the feet of the disciples, Jesus is preparing the next generation of priests who would soon be tasked with leading humanity from slavery of sin to life, carrying with them God’s presence in the new covenant, which begins with the new law, a new commandment: “love one another as I have loved you.”

This would come to fulfillment after the resurrection. They will find themselves in that upper room again this time frightened. Jesus appears in their midst, places his hands over their heads and breath on them saying “receive the holy spirit.” Over time they would come to realize what had happened that Holy Thursday, and they would begin their mission of washing feet, of stepping into the chaotic water of people’s lives and provide for them the new forms of God’s power that will free them: the power of God’s law through love, the power of God’s provision through the brad from heaven, the Eucharist, and all possible not because of them, but through their life of priestly service. This is why in the context of today’s Mass, it is the priest who does the washing, it is a direct mandate from Jesus to those who would be entrusted with this specific task.

20 years ago, that simple gesture unveiled the love God had for me which led me to do the same. I was just an observer, and I was flooded with that love, it is real. I will be forever grateful to that priest, Fr. Philip Bloom, for being willing to step into the chaos of my life.

And so, I humbly ask that you allow me to enter into yours. As the 12 representatives from the community step forward, take this gesture as God’s way of loving you through his priest, and let that gesture help us all grow in gratitude for the gift of the ordained priesthood, not because we are more important, in no way, in fact I am nothing without you, but because of what God does through this ministry.

Unfortunately because of the abuse scandals and clericalism of the past decades, many people have lost the respect for this vocation. Faulty theology has also stripped the unique role of the ordained priesthood, making us seem unnecessary. Why have priests when we all share in Christ’s priesthood in baptism? No wonder many young men don’t see it as anything worth perusing.

The love of God also heals, so if you struggle with the ordained priesthood for whatever the reason, if you were ever hurt, offended, made felt inferior, ignored, let down by a priest, I am sorry, in the name of that priest, I am sorry – that was not Jesus, that is not what we were called to do.

         Finally, from that priestly service flows communion, the second component we celebrate today, the Eucharist. Jesus was vulnerable when he placed himself under the feet of the disciples to wash them, and is vulnerable as he places himself in our hands, under the presence of bread and wine.

The Eucharist is more than food for the journey. He would explain to the disciples that their ancestors ate of the mana from heaven, it was their food for the journey, but at the end, they died. This bread from heaven is different, it provides the grace we need to see each other with compassion, not obstacles. The Eucharist is what allows us to fulfil the commandment. In receiving the love of God, we are then able to love one another as he loved us. Jesus desires that we see him in the vulnerability of bread and wine, in just the same way that he wants us to see him in the vulnerability of each other for “whatever you do the least of me, you do to me.” In that way, we become a priestly people, in the selfless love with which we serve one another in our unique ways.

Family, Holy Thursday puts both into perspective: the priesthood and Eucharist flow from one another. One serves, the other transforms. Over the next thee days the love of God will be expressed in various ways. Today, welcome to the upper room where Jesus places himself under of our feet and onto our hands. There is no greater gift of God’s love than that.